It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
