I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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