i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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