Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
