this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
