...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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