I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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