you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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