PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
