Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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