We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
