sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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