walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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