69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
