Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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