Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We have started to decorate penises.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
