Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
