Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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