hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
