i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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