Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
