I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
the liver wants what the liver wants
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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