a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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