Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Who died my cat blue again?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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