When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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