He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
