Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
