Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
