I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize