I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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