i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
