I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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