yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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