Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
