Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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