A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
