I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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