Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
