i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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