I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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