she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Damn victory sex feels great
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
