I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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