I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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