there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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