Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize