The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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