Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
