if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
