Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
