i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
