Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
