he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
