I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i think i just lost a toe
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