Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize