I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
