You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
