so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
