This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize
