apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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