No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
