So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
