Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
